I sent the attached to Emma’s principal. I have already sent a couple of joke emails and have a great relationship with her, so don’t worry, she expects stuff like this from me. Uh…I think.
Week Ending 9/2/11
Greetings from the Boss:
Hello beloved staff! HA! I almost said that without laughing. Just wanted to give everyone a quick recap/state of affairs from last week, as well as update you on notable staff-related news.
Carpool Lane – Still Kind of a Beating
As expected, a vast majority of parents are having trouble keeping one piece of construction paper with their child’s name on it in their cars, and actually tossing it onto their dashboard when they are picking up their children in the carpool lane. They are also still giving us blank, confused, or even angry stares when we ask them to keep the far left lane clear. I’ve pretty much had it with standing there with a megaphone and/or walkie-talkie to redirect parents whom I’m surprised can even operate a vehicle. Starting next week, we will be putting all carpooling children in labeled cardboard boxes on the grass in the back courtyard. Each box will have a rope tied to it for parents to drag their kids to their cars. If I see any cars in the third lane, their drivers will be tazed. I’m serious.
2nd Annual Beginning of School Keg Party
Since we had so much fun last year, (I think…it’s fuzzy), we are planning our 2nd annual Beginning of School Keg Party. Minus all of the arrests, I thought last year’s party went really well. I’ve decided that the party will be at Ms. Davis’s house this year. I haven’t told her yet, so I’m not sure if she has a pool. If not, we will dig one like we did last year. (You’re welcome, Sandy!). Please do NOT provide any of the Kinder teachers with Jello shots. Not only do we want to avoid a repeat of last year’s “Spontaneous Kinder Teacher Chicken Dance”, but I’m still not entirely sure they’re legal to drink. The district may be convinced they are all over 21, but come on….not one of them could be over 18. Look at them.
Employee Conduct – Still An Issue
*Coach K – We all realize you are a fierce Dodgeball competitor. However, 18 1st graders were hospitalized within the first week of school. I’m pretty sure you’re not even supposed to be part of their games. The taunting alone brought several of the children to tears. What’s say we ease up on the trash-talky and get back to the coachy. Dig?
*Ms. Seagrave – It is due to your exemplary qualifications that you were offered a job at Sonntag. I do not question your dedication to musical perfection. However, please stop telling the children how much they suck. Everytime I walk by your classroom, all I ever hear is “GOD, you guys SUCK!” “Could you guys suck WORSE?” and “As expected, that completely SUCKED”. Please give these children a chance to actually learn what you’re trying to teach them. It’s only been 2 weeks for goodness sake.
*Ms. Davis. The Sonntag Streak. Enough said.
I hope everyone has a great week, (whatev), stays Sonntag Strong, and remember, we are “Shaping Minds and Touching Hearts”.
PS: the next person who “touches” my parking space is getting a tank full of sugar.
Yours in education,
Warmer of the Month! As the leaves change to brilliant oranges, reds, and yellows, bring the joy of autumn indoors with Maize, a bold vessel crafted in earthy, golden saffron. A crackle glaze sets off this warmer’s prize feature: a unique, two-handled dish, ready to be filled with comforting scent. Accented by a charcoal base, speckled with flecks of gold, Maize adds organic elegance to your fall décor. Check it out, and all of the great new Scentsy warmers using the interactive catalog link on my sidebar!
I would pair it with the September Scent of the Month, Pumpkin Marshmallow!!! And don’t forget, want to earn LOTS of FREE Scentsy products?? Contact me to Host. A. Party.
I love hockey analogies, don’t you? I’m happy to report that since my last post, I’ve actually bought that journal (wahoo!), and set and accomplished some other goals as well. Namely, I finally wrote an article for a magazine contest, and am almost through the editing process, (with the help of Uber-Editor Bruce Hastings. Thanks Bruce!). The funny part was that once I’d made the decision to write it, and once I actually dragged my computer to Starbucks to leech some WiFi, it was really easy to write. The first draft was stream-of-consciousness, but wound up being really close to what’s going to be my final submission. I’m proud of myself. Hear that? I said I was proud of myself. I’m going to try to work on saying that more often!
I’ve had a few personal setbacks, but I’m still seeing a new pattern of two steps forward/half a step back, which is way better than the rut of two steps forward/five steps back I was stuck in. I’ve had to set some boundries with people, and have had a very unpleasant confrontation with someone who was a friend, but one I’d been trying to distance myself from. Weirdly, the confrontation came from her. I’ve really got some poor coping skills that I’ve been working on recently, so I handled the “in the moment” stuff fairly well. But then I was overcome with anger, and I was hurt, and I was pissed. So, then I reacted poorly. I was hateful and pretty much burned every bridge with that person within match distance. I’m not happy with how I reacted, but I realized that I still feel the same way…in that, I’d already decided I didn’t want this person in my day to day life anymore, and had been pulling back for months. I’m sorry we both got hurt in the process, but I still feel good that I am working really hard to keep overly-sensitive, always right, judgemental people out of JenWorld. Doing so has really helped JenWorld be a cool place to be. Again, I don’t like how upset I let it get me, I don’t like that it ruined my night, I don’t like the venue by which she chose to bring up her issues, and I especially don’t like the collateral damage that’s happened, i.e. her spouse was one of my best friends in the world. But I’m confident that things there will die down, and I’ll at least be able to keep some semblance of a relationship with him. At some point. I can wait. And meanwhile, work on refining JenWorld into a real JenTopia of Awesomeness. The key is not to let it kick my feet out from under me, or to undermine all of the personal progress that I’ve made. Two months ago, it would have. Today, it didn’t. So, I’m proud of myself. See? There I go again. Feels good.
Soooo….despite the negative things that have happened, I’m happy with my bounce-back skills, and I’m happy that I’ve learned that I can’t control how others feel or what they do. I can only choose my own reactions and keep trying to make decisions that are best for me. It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there! And setting and attaining all of these small goals have really helped. Now, for God’s sake. Go buy some Scentsy from me at the link on the right hand side of the page. Everything is 10% off in August, the products are great, and I need some August sales or I’m cooked. 🙂
I’m in goal-setting mode. I’ve learned that I’m a victim, like a lot of people are, of becoming so overwhelmed at the prospect of doing so many things, I shut down. I’ve also learned that no matter what you think about a person’s life, you’re probably wrong. And it’s almost always way harder than you think. Not just harder….WAY harder.
My struggles aren’t even as mundane as “get the playroom cleaned and organized”, “go through the 7000 boxes in the garage”, or “do the dishes”. Well, they are, because those are all on my list. What I’m struggling with is setting small goals to get to huge goals. I think everyone struggles with this. Uh, at least I hope I’m not the only one. The frustrating thing is that I KNOW how to do this. But there seems to be this impenetrable wall between me and Step 1. For example, I really want to write. Not just this crap, or the witty anecdotes I come up with, (What? I’m pretty witty) on Facebook. I want to write a book. I want to write short stories for magazines. I want to start keeping a journal to organize my thoughts. The journal one is the easy one, right? Wrong. Thinking about keeping a journal makes me start thinking of “Where do I buy those” and then leads to “I also want to write a book” and then “I also want to travel” and then “I wish I had money to travel” and then “I wish I had a job that paid more so I could travel”….then I’m overwhelmed and decide to watch Deadliest Catch.
It’s a self-depreciating thought-process I’ve struggled with my whole life. Sure, I’ve been able to conquer it in some areas. But, it takes me time. I wanted to learn to knit since I was about 18. I learned when I was 31. I didn’t get decent at it until I was 36. Ok fine, 39. This is probably one of the only examples in my entire life where I wanted to learn or do something, and I worked in small increments over a long period of time to master it. Fortunately, this gives me encouragement now. And almost an advantage, right? I think I’m a pretty good writer. I wasn’t a pretty good knitter when I started. I’ve actually had someone personally contact me and say, “You have the capacity to be a great writer, here are some resources.” At the time, I didn’t really have the emotional capacity to take on “One More Thing”. Now, I’m starting to think I do. I wish that person would contact me again, because it’s a little embarassing to say, “Hey, remember what you told me, and I told you I was ready to try? Well, I wasn’t. But now I am! No, really! Can you give me all of the information that you took a lot of time and effort before to give me again?” Signed, #feelslikeanA-hole
So, I’ll be working really hard over the next couple of weeks to set small goals, and actually do them. THEN actually give myself credit and encouragement for doing them. Feel free to send me a journal for God’s sake.
And into the closet we go. It’s funny how nonchalant you learn to be when you hear the city’s tornado sirens going off when you’ve lived in Texas long enough. It’s also funny how you seriously consider risking tornadic annihilation when you’re trapped in a closet with two dogs whose reaction to fear involves copious farting. I really can’t tell you how much I regretted letting the dogs have cheese as a treat earlier that day.
Anyway, we all survived. Actually, after the sirens stopped and everything calmed down, Emma fell asleep in our bed, and that’s when the REAL storm hit. I couldn’t bring myself to wake her up to get her into the closet, since…ya know…she wasn’t scared when she was sleeping! My plan was to let her sleep through it until the sirens started going off, and they never did, so…hooray! The dogs live to fart another day.
These are the 3 Daisies that showed up to walk for our Daisy Scout, Lilly, who has Cystic Fibrosis. The one in the center is actually Lilly, so I think it was pretty expected that she show up. Emma, who seems to be gathering pre-walk strength by consuming popcorn, is the leader’s daughter, so I think it was also pretty expected that she’d be there. The third girl, Jada, is also in the Daisy troop. Jada’s mom, Haley, hates my guts and thinks I’m a sucky leader. Haley is actually friends with Lilly’s mom…so that’s why they attended…NOT because “I” asked them to. Haley is pretty much a wretched snotty bitch, and because this is MY blog, I will also say that Jada is a spoiled annoying bratface. So, basically, our of 13 Daisy scouts, 2 showed up to the CF walk to show support for Lilly, who’s life expectancy, by the way, is about 25 if she’s lucky. Stay classy, Daisy Scout Moms! Bitches.
I’ve officially given notice that I will no longer stand as the Leader of Daisy Troop #7319 next year. I feel better and better about that for each day that goes by where I have to juggle a 777 Wing Center Section Spanwise Beam Proposal Plan with the fervent search for child-sized bucket hats to pin swaps to for the Daisy Bridging Ceremony this Saturday.
Emma’s tonsillectomy was moved to June 10th….the wait for it to be over continues….
Starting to finalize some summer plans for canning, knitting, putting down some laminate flooring, and some long-awaited revenge. Oh, you didn’t think I forgot, did you?
I am so completely and utterly exhausted! Between traveling last week, Girl Scout events, (seriously, I’m SO quitting), trying to keep up with the Boo Bear and the House, and a nightmare system-conversion at work, I’ve taken to falling face-down on the couch at 7:30, only to be woken up because my husband can’t take the snoring during TV anymore at 9:30, and heading off to bed.
I started knitting an adorable Koala bear during my flight to Philly last week, but found that the copious amounts of Xanax necessary for me to fly comfortably are not condusive anything related to knitting, so back in the suitcase it went. I’m hoping to get back to it this week, but it’s 1:46pm and I’m already about to fall on my face, so…we’ll see!
Notable peripheral things going on right now:
My wonderful, inspirational friend Jen Ragan Smith is going to have a baby ANY MINUTE, and I’m very excited! She is also a hippie and using a midwife which terrifies me. I would go off on all of the jokes about her giving birth in the woods in some sort of new-age prayer circle, but she is my website administrator so I can’t really rip on her. Much. 😛 Good Luck my friend~!
This weekend is the Wildflower Festival, which is always a blast and chock-full of musical acts so past their prime that even the Wildflowers are embarassed for them. I, however, am thrilled to take Emma to see Jerry Lee Lewis and the Bee Gees Tribute Band, with either some Little River Band or REO Speedwagon thrown in. I know. It’s so bad, it’s great. This year I’m a Wildflower volunteer, and talked my way into an extra couple of tickets, so I’m psyched. $80 worth of tickets and a free t-shirt for 4 hours of work? Yes please. I’m also wondering if I’ve got what it takes to march into restricted areas, and when stopped, point to the shirt. “Hello? Volunteer. Mr. Lee Lewis asked me for this water now get the F out of my way. And straighten that shirt!”
T-Minus 10 days til Emma’s tonsillectomy. She gets the pre-op bloodwork this Thursday. That’s going to go well. Oy. It sucks we have to get this done smack in the middle of all of the End-Of-Year Kindergarten festivities…(There. Are. A lot). Thanks, stupid work insurance changing.
That’s it for now…off on the search for energy!!