Fall is in full swing in my house, as exhibited by my Pumpkin Plug-In and my Gingerbread Warmer! Yeah, I guess Gingerbread might be more winter than fall, but you can’t beat those warm colors. Both warmers are filled with a melty Pumpkin Marshmallow wax, and my entire house smells like a cozy cottage in the woods filled with pumpkin pie and other wintry treats. I am completely ready for the cold weather and some baking!!
Tattooing has now become an accepted practice in our society, viewed as “artistic expression” or “art” or even just “cool” or “fun”. So here’s my 100% editorialized opinion first. I think that in general, tattoos are stupid. When I see someone with visible tattoos, my opinion of their character plummets. Unless an extreme exception was to occur, I would be extremely unlikely to hire someone with a visible tattoo, because I think they make people look trashy and unprofessional. Don’t even get me started about Tramp Stamps. You KNOW they’re trashy when you get them, so don’t get all huffy that I’m pointing it out. At it’s core, the overwhelming majority of people that I know who have tattoos are people that I think have low self esteem, feel they have something to prove, did it to be rebellious over a past life-slight, or feel the need to permanently mar their skin to show that they love their kids or some other family member or their band or Yosemite Sam or a propensity for barbed wire, and for some reason don’t have the sense to find another artistic outlet for that. If you like Texas, buy a shirt. If you like flowers, go plant some. If you’re band is important to you, go have bumper stickers made. If you like barbed wire, go wrap your f’ing property with it. Sidenote, if you’re going to get a tattoo, at least go to Scott Cooksey or some other really artistic professional, don’t go to some guys kitchen who doesn’t have the color you even want so you settle on what he has. You don’t want to go for the “deal” on something permanent that takes up half of your back. Keep in mind; I’ve formed this opinion about these people whether or not they have a tattoo. But I find that the tattoo evidence reinforces my opinions of them. It’s like, totally scientific, yo. And yes, I just recommended a tattoo artist. My dislike of the result does not mean that I don’t appreciate the creativity exhibited by talented artists. It’s like your parents saying, “I don’t want you to drink, but if you do drink, please at least call me for a ride”. It’s actually probably more like, “I don’t want you to drink, but if you do drink, at least drink Gentleman Jack…that other whiskey is crap”.
I believe that just because society approves of something does not make it right. I’ll leave to your imagination the myriad of global examples here, because I’m sure my views on some are particularly polarizing, and they’re not what I’m talking about right now anyway. I’m also Catholic, but far from the “best” Catholic in the world. That doesn’t mean I don’t have the core values of my church, or an opinion or belief system based on my faith. Did you know that some people feel that the Bible warns against tattoos in Leviticus 19:28 which says, “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord.”? Go ahead and interpret it how you want. I’m kinda thinking God’s not big on inking up your temple with a picture of your girlfriend’s tits. There are also several other Bible verses that address marking your skin, idolatry, etc. but I think I’ve already freaked out about 90% of people who know me and didn’t realize my faith-based opinions on this.
I am not trying to condemn anyone who already has a tattoo; well, ok, yes I am. Not so much condemn as laugh, point and alienate. Kidding. Like I said before, I do have maybe, maybe 5-6 friends or acquaintances who I can say that their body art does is not a clear representation to me that they are insecure, dumb, misguided, whores, dumbasses…whatever. But still….the vast majority? It does. FYI, I am a poster child in poor judgment. I had a tattoo myself. And not a rose on my ankle or a tasteful, small symbol…I had OZZY tattooed onto my BOOB. I don’t think God condemned me for that. I think He knew I was young and stupid. I also think He was pleased when I had it removed. I didn’t have it removed solely because I didn’t like it, (I didn’t) or was completely drunk when I got it, (I was), or that I thought it was incredibly trashy (I did), but because it felt, to me, like God wouldn’t really appreciate me treating his gift with a blatent disregard for common sense. I also know some very godly people who have tattoos and their tattoos do not interfere with what God is doing through them. So this opinion is not meant to say they do not love God. Ear piercings are most likely in the same category, and I don’t seem to have any problem with those. Frustrating, huh? Well, too bad. Disagree with me if you will. But good luck getting your vile retaliatory comments posted here. I love having personal censorship abilities!
So I’m making a lot of conflicting statements. “People who have tattoos are stupid, except for the people I deem not stupid.” Not exactly. The vast majority of people I KNOW who have tattoos I feel do it for immature reasons and exhibit at least one of the following attributes: They’re insecure, they have low self esteem, they’re idiots, they feel that art is best exhibited on their body, or they’re trash. I just use that rule as my own personal scientific sampling of the greater population.
Now, feel free to send me pics of your moronic tattoos and I will post them here.
I sent the attached to Emma’s principal. I have already sent a couple of joke emails and have a great relationship with her, so don’t worry, she expects stuff like this from me. Uh…I think.
Week Ending 9/2/11
Greetings from the Boss:
Hello beloved staff! HA! I almost said that without laughing. Just wanted to give everyone a quick recap/state of affairs from last week, as well as update you on notable staff-related news.
Carpool Lane – Still Kind of a Beating
As expected, a vast majority of parents are having trouble keeping one piece of construction paper with their child’s name on it in their cars, and actually tossing it onto their dashboard when they are picking up their children in the carpool lane. They are also still giving us blank, confused, or even angry stares when we ask them to keep the far left lane clear. I’ve pretty much had it with standing there with a megaphone and/or walkie-talkie to redirect parents whom I’m surprised can even operate a vehicle. Starting next week, we will be putting all carpooling children in labeled cardboard boxes on the grass in the back courtyard. Each box will have a rope tied to it for parents to drag their kids to their cars. If I see any cars in the third lane, their drivers will be tazed. I’m serious.
2nd Annual Beginning of School Keg Party
Since we had so much fun last year, (I think…it’s fuzzy), we are planning our 2nd annual Beginning of School Keg Party. Minus all of the arrests, I thought last year’s party went really well. I’ve decided that the party will be at Ms. Davis’s house this year. I haven’t told her yet, so I’m not sure if she has a pool. If not, we will dig one like we did last year. (You’re welcome, Sandy!). Please do NOT provide any of the Kinder teachers with Jello shots. Not only do we want to avoid a repeat of last year’s “Spontaneous Kinder Teacher Chicken Dance”, but I’m still not entirely sure they’re legal to drink. The district may be convinced they are all over 21, but come on….not one of them could be over 18. Look at them.
Employee Conduct – Still An Issue
*Coach K – We all realize you are a fierce Dodgeball competitor. However, 18 1st graders were hospitalized within the first week of school. I’m pretty sure you’re not even supposed to be part of their games. The taunting alone brought several of the children to tears. What’s say we ease up on the trash-talky and get back to the coachy. Dig?
*Ms. Seagrave – It is due to your exemplary qualifications that you were offered a job at Sonntag. I do not question your dedication to musical perfection. However, please stop telling the children how much they suck. Everytime I walk by your classroom, all I ever hear is “GOD, you guys SUCK!” “Could you guys suck WORSE?” and “As expected, that completely SUCKED”. Please give these children a chance to actually learn what you’re trying to teach them. It’s only been 2 weeks for goodness sake.
*Ms. Davis. The Sonntag Streak. Enough said.
I hope everyone has a great week, (whatev), stays Sonntag Strong, and remember, we are “Shaping Minds and Touching Hearts”.
PS: the next person who “touches” my parking space is getting a tank full of sugar.
Yours in education,