I love hockey analogies, don’t you? I’m happy to report that since my last post, I’ve actually bought that journal (wahoo!), and set and accomplished some other goals as well. Namely, I finally wrote an article for a magazine contest, and am almost through the editing process, (with the help of Uber-Editor Bruce Hastings. Thanks Bruce!). The funny part was that once I’d made the decision to write it, and once I actually dragged my computer to Starbucks to leech some WiFi, it was really easy to write. The first draft was stream-of-consciousness, but wound up being really close to what’s going to be my final submission. I’m proud of myself. Hear that? I said I was proud of myself. I’m going to try to work on saying that more often!
I’ve had a few personal setbacks, but I’m still seeing a new pattern of two steps forward/half a step back, which is way better than the rut of two steps forward/five steps back I was stuck in. I’ve had to set some boundries with people, and have had a very unpleasant confrontation with someone who was a friend, but one I’d been trying to distance myself from. Weirdly, the confrontation came from her. I’ve really got some poor coping skills that I’ve been working on recently, so I handled the “in the moment” stuff fairly well. But then I was overcome with anger, and I was hurt, and I was pissed. So, then I reacted poorly. I was hateful and pretty much burned every bridge with that person within match distance. I’m not happy with how I reacted, but I realized that I still feel the same way…in that, I’d already decided I didn’t want this person in my day to day life anymore, and had been pulling back for months. I’m sorry we both got hurt in the process, but I still feel good that I am working really hard to keep overly-sensitive, always right, judgemental people out of JenWorld. Doing so has really helped JenWorld be a cool place to be. Again, I don’t like how upset I let it get me, I don’t like that it ruined my night, I don’t like the venue by which she chose to bring up her issues, and I especially don’t like the collateral damage that’s happened, i.e. her spouse was one of my best friends in the world. But I’m confident that things there will die down, and I’ll at least be able to keep some semblance of a relationship with him. At some point. I can wait. And meanwhile, work on refining JenWorld into a real JenTopia of Awesomeness. The key is not to let it kick my feet out from under me, or to undermine all of the personal progress that I’ve made. Two months ago, it would have. Today, it didn’t. So, I’m proud of myself. See? There I go again. Feels good.
Soooo….despite the negative things that have happened, I’m happy with my bounce-back skills, and I’m happy that I’ve learned that I can’t control how others feel or what they do. I can only choose my own reactions and keep trying to make decisions that are best for me. It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there! And setting and attaining all of these small goals have really helped. Now, for God’s sake. Go buy some Scentsy from me at the link on the right hand side of the page. Everything is 10% off in August, the products are great, and I need some August sales or I’m cooked. 🙂